i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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