This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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