I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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