IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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