I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
