Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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