Non-Jews are for practice
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
