Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
