I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
