I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize