This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
