man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
