oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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