All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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