Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
