i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
