Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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