A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
