She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize