Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
