Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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