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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
