so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
