what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
