scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize