'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
