dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
