I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
