everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
