I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
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