"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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