We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize