So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
