1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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