Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
