people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
