So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
