thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
