When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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