so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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