what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
