I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
