I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
