this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
