So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
