You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
