i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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