He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
