Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
