Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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