we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
