sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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