Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
