You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
