Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
