Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
